Beirut Notebook: Looking back on graduation and forward to the world

BEIRUT: It’s the beginning of a new era to me, and the end of a beautiful chapter of my life that I spent at the American University of Science and Technology.

My future is dancing just around the corner, teasing me, as if daring me to come closer to it.

From the bittersweet celebrations, like prom and graduation, to the scary excitement of “what’s next?” I went against myself and grew up.

I’m no longer the shy teenager who walked in, with my parents, through the gates of AUST feeling lost and not completely sure how I was going to spend the next several years.

I knew I wanted to write for a living, I’ve known that since I was in fourth grade, thus majoring in journalism was a dream come true.

Three years later, AUST had not only become my home, but also my safe haven.

I have a friend who joked that we shouldn’t be excited to graduate, because we were “going to work until we die,” but not me.

When you’re passionate about what you do, every day is an adventure, and hard work is no longer a chore.

On the contrary, it’s a step closer to fulfilling your dream.

When I look back at the journey with its ups and downs, the all-nighters spent cramming for tests a night before the exam and the times spent at the cafeteria laughing my head off with my best friends, I can’t help but feel a little bit nostalgic for the more than wistful days that I spent on campus.

Graduation day always seemed like a far-away dream, but something I would get to eventually.

After all, I was working on graduating with honors almost every day, but the day I received my cap and gown I felt breathless.

On my graduation day, a day that is now etched in my memory forever, I walked into the graduation hall at the Beirut International Exhibition & Leisure Center fighting back tears.

All around me were the people who have accompanied me throughout my university journey, many of them now ready to delve into their career, while others looking forward to getting married and starting a family.

Some had prepared their passports and visas ready to jump straight into the big world miles away from home, chasing their dreams.

My father flew home from Saudi Arabia, where he worked for years to support our family, to attend my graduation, and seeing him sitting in the front row during the ceremony with my mom and sisters, cheering his heart out for me, warmed mine.

Right now, I’m working as a freelance journalist at Annahar English and I’m driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success.

I really feel like the future is mine and at moments of wishful thinking, I think that maybe just maybe our generation really is going to be the change we want to see in our country.

However, the words of an instructor who greatly influenced me still ring in my ears, “work hard, but mostly enjoy life.”

When opportunity presented itself in the shape of a workshop titled “Reporting on Migration and Exile: a Different Perspective,” that would take place in Germany’s capital, Berlin, I jumped at the chance.

I’m already working as a journalist, but I’ve never reported on refugees before.

I was terribly excited; also I had never been to Europe.

Loving family and friends gently warned me: Europe might not be the safest place for a young Muslim woman in a headscarf right now.

I flew wondering what it would really be like.

It was great, the second I landed in Berlin, I fell in love!

The spacious green garden, lakes, rivers, and architecture left me mesmerized. Like all the great cities, one can walk, and work, and around every corner is history. A cosmopolitan metropolis, the easy-going nature of the locals, and the fact that there is so much to see fascinated me.

I was like a little girl at an amusement park; awestruck by everything there was to see and do.

Sometimes, I found Beirut a distant thought, as I spent my day in a classroom discussing migration, refugees, European Union laws, and human rights with experts, journalists, and academics. But my nights were spent sightseeing, and strolling the streets and discovering the city by foot with new friends made in the program.  

When my stay came to an end, I realized how much I missed my parents and sisters back home, and I was suddenly aching to go back.

But my trip helped me realize what I wanted to do: I wanted a career that had me globe-trotting but would always send me back home for visits when homesickness hits.

On the horizon, I see endless opportunities, and a lifetime to spend as I please; to learn, to grow, and never touch the ground. I know that the sky is the limit.

I don’t know where I’ll be five years from now or what life will have thrown at me by then, but what I do know is that right now I’m having the time of my life.

Cheers to the graduates of 2018!